Chapter 10
A year to the day after that Sunday dinner at Diane’s house, I woke up early.
The sun was shining through the bedroom curtains.
I could hear Emma in the kitchen, laughing, and Tom’s voice answering her, and Sunny barking like a maniac because someone had dropped a piece of bacon on the floor.
I smiled and got out of bed.
Tom had moved in three months before.
Jake stayed with us every other week, half the summer, and every other holiday.
He and Emma were best friends.
They built Lego castles together, they played soccer in the backyard, they ganged up on Tom and me when we played board games on Friday nights.
Sunny loved Jake almost as much as he loved Emma.
It was messy. It was loud. It was nothing like the perfect, quiet, fake life I’d had with Michael.
And it was perfect.
I walked into the kitchen.
Tom was standing at the stove, wearing an old Star Wars t-shirt and sweatpants, flipping pancakes.
Emma was sitting at the island, covered in syrup, helping Jake decorate his pancake with sprinkles.
“Morning, beautiful,” Tom said, leaning over to kiss me.
“Morning,” I said, smiling.
“Mommy!” Emma said. “We made you pancakes! With extra chocolate chips! Just how you like them!”
“Best news I’ve heard all day,” I said, sitting down next to her.
Jake held up his pancake. It was covered in so many sprinkles you could barely see the pancake.
“Mine’s better,” he said, grinning.
“Is not!” Emma said.
“Is too!”
“Okay, okay,” Tom said, laughing as he set a plate of pancakes in front of me. “No fighting at the breakfast table. Or no screen time after school. Deal?”
Emma and Jake both went quiet.
“Deal,” they said in unison.
I laughed and took a bite of my pancake.
It was perfect.
After breakfast, Tom and I cleaned up the kitchen while the kids got dressed.
We had a big day planned.
We were driving out to the farm where we’d adopted Sunny, to pick out a little sister for him. A tiny black lab puppy the rescue had been posting about all week.
Emma and Jake had been begging us for weeks.
We’d finally said yes.
Tom leaned against the counter, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“You okay?” he said, quiet, so the kids wouldn’t hear. “I know today’s the anniversary. If you wanna talk about it—”
“I’m okay,” I said, cutting him off with a kiss. “Really. I don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanna be here. With you. With the kids. With the new puppy. That’s all.”
He smiled.
“Good,” he said. “Because I got you something.”
He pulled a small velvet box out of his sweatpants pocket.
My heart stopped.
“Tom,” I said. “What—”
“Before you say anything,” he said, opening the box. Inside was a simple silver ring, with a small sapphire in the center. “This isn’t an engagement ring. Not yet. It’s a promise ring. A promise that I’m never gonna lie to you. Never gonna cheat on you. Never gonna hurt you or Emma or Jake. A promise that I’m gonna love you, and take care of you, and be here for all of it. The good days and the bad days. The messy pancake mornings and the sick kid nights and all the days in between. Whenever you’re ready for more than this? I’m here. But for now? This is enough. For me, anyway.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks.
Happy tears.
The good kind.
“I love you,” I said, throwing my arms around his neck.
“I love you too,” he said, kissing me again.
“Ewwww,” Jake said from the doorway. Emma was standing next to him, grinning. “You guys are gross.”
Tom laughed and slipped the ring onto my finger.
It fit perfectly.
“Ready to go get your new puppy?” he said.
The kids screamed and ran for the door.
We spent the afternoon at the farm.
The new puppy was tiny, with floppy ears and a white patch on her chest.
Emma named her Luna.
Sunny loved her immediately. He licked her face all the way home in the car, even when she peed on his favorite blanket.
That night, after the kids were asleep and the puppies were curled up on the couch, Tom and I sat on the porch swing, drinking iced tea.
I twisted the silver ring on my finger, looking out at the backyard.
The kids had set up a tent earlier that day, claiming they were gonna camp outside. They’d lasted an hour before they’d gotten scared of the crickets and run back inside.
Their sleeping bags were still spread out on the grass, next to a half-empty bag of marshmallows and a flashlight that was still on.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Tom said, squeezing my hand.
I smiled.
“I was just thinking,” I said. “About that night a year ago. When Diane slapped me. When I slapped her back. When everything fell apart. I remember sitting on the floor of my bedroom that night, thinking my life was over. That I’d never be happy again. That Emma would never be okay.”
I paused, looking down at the ring on my finger.
“And now?” I said. “Now I have this. You. The kids. The dogs. This house. This life. It’s not perfect. It’s messy. It’s loud. There’s dog hair on every couch and syrup on the ceiling and I haven’t slept through the night in a year. But it’s mine. All of it. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
Tom kissed the top of my head.
“You deserve all of it,” he said. “And more. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Claire. You went through hell, and you came out the other side kinder, and braver, and more amazing than ever. I’m so lucky I get to be here with you.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder.
We sat there in silence for a long time, watching the fireflies dance over the backyard, listening to the crickets chirp, listening to the puppies snore inside.
I thought about Diane, alone in New York.
I thought about Lila, in Oregon, raising little Henry by herself.
I thought about Michael, in Seattle, building a new life for himself.
I didn’t wish them ill.
Not anymore.
I just wished them peace.
Because I had peace now.
I had love.
I had a family that loved me for who I was, not for who they wanted me to be.
I had a life that was real.
No lies. No secrets. No drama.
Just love.
Just us.
Tom stood up, holding out his hand.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go inside. The puppies are probably chewing up my shoes again.”
I laughed and took his hand.
We walked inside, closing the porch door behind us.
The future was still wide open.
But for the first time in my life, I wasn’t scared of it.
I was ready.
Ready for the messy pancake mornings.
Ready for the soccer games and the school plays and the bad report cards.
Ready for the late nights and the early mornings and all the days in between.
Ready for all of it.
With Tom.
With Emma.
With Jake.
With Sunny and Luna.
With my family.
My real family.
The one I’d built myself, out of the ashes of the old one.
May you like
And it was perfect.
More perfect than any perfect life I’d ever imagined.
