Chapter 9

Six months passed.
The trial, the affair, the lies—they all started to feel like a distant memory.
Like a bad movie I’d watched once, and never wanted to see again.
Emma was thriving.
She’d made the soccer team at school. She was getting straight A’s. She’d read ten chapter books over spring break.
She still saw Michael every other Saturday.
He’d flown her out to Seattle once, for a week over spring break. She’d come home with a Seattle Mariners hoodie, a stuffed orca whale, and a hundred stories about the aquarium and the Space Needle and how Daddy’s new apartment had a view of the ocean.
I was glad for her.
As long as she was happy, that was all that mattered.
I was thriving too.
I’d been promoted again, to director of marketing. I was making more money than I ever had before. Enough that I didn’t need Michael’s child support, though I still took it. It went into a college fund for Emma.
I’d made new friends at work.
We went out for drinks on Fridays. We went hiking on weekends. We had girls’ nights where we ate too much pizza and watched bad rom-coms and laughed until our sides hurt.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was actually living for me.
Not for a husband. Not for a mother-in-law who’d never like me. Not for anyone else.
Just me.
And Emma, of course.
Always Emma.
Then, in May, my friend Sarah set me up on a blind date.
“Absolutely not,” I said, when she told me. “I am not dating. Ever. I’m done with men. They’re all liars and cheaters and I’m better off alone.”
Sarah rolled her eyes.
“First of all,” she said. “Not all men are like Michael. Second of all, this guy is nothing like Michael. His name is Tom. He’s a graphic designer. He’s got a ten-year-old son named Jake who plays on the same soccer team as Emma. He volunteers at the animal shelter. He loves 90s movies and bad pizza and he’s never been married. He’s nice, Claire. Genuinely nice. And he thinks you’re cute. Just give him one date. One drink. If you hate him, I’ll never set you up again. I promise.”
I hesitated.
I hadn’t been on a date in twelve years.
The last time I’d gone out with a man who wasn’t Michael, I’d been twenty-two years old, working my first job out of college, still living in a studio apartment with a couch that smelled like cat pee.
The thought of dating again terrified me.
But then I thought: Why not?
I was thirty-four years old. I was successful. I was happy. I was a catch.
And if the date was terrible? I’d leave after an hour. No harm done.
“Fine,” I said. “One drink. That’s it.”
Sarah squealed.
“Yes!” she said. “I’ll text him your number. He’ll text you tomorrow. Wear that blue dress you bought last month. The one that makes your eyes look amazing.”
Tom texted me the next day, just like Sarah said he would.
Hey Claire, it’s Tom. Sarah gave me your number. She says you love 90s movies and bad pizza. Wanna grab a drink at that new place on Halsted tomorrow night? I promise I’m not a serial killer.
I laughed out loud when I read it.
I texted back: Only if you promise to tell me your favorite 90s movie within the first five minutes. And if you say Titanic, I’m leaving.
His reply came ten seconds later: Clueless. Duh. And I make a mean mac and cheese. Bonus points?
I smiled.
Maybe Sarah was right.
Maybe not all men were like Michael.
The date was the next night.
I wore the blue dress. I put on a little makeup. I curled my hair.
Emma helped me pick out shoes.
“Wear the sparkly ones, Mommy,” she said, holding up my silver heels. “They make you look like a princess.”
I laughed and put them on.
Tom was waiting for me at the bar when I got there.
He was tall, with messy brown hair and glasses and a nice smile. He was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans, no tie, no fancy suit like Michael used to wear on dates.
He stood up when he saw me.
“Claire,” he said, holding out his hand. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. Sarah wasn’t lying. You do look amazing.”
I felt my cheeks turn pink.
No one had said that to me in a long time.
We sat down and ordered drinks.
He told me his favorite 90s movie was Clueless, just like he’d said. He told me about his son Jake, who was obsessed with space and wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up. He told me about his volunteer work at the animal shelter, how he’d helped rescue over a hundred dogs in the last two years.
I told him about Emma. About Sunny. About my job.
I didn’t tell him about Michael. Not yet.
Not on the first date.
We talked for three hours.
We laughed a lot.
He walked me to my car when the bar closed.
He didn’t try to kiss me.
He just stood there, smiling, and said, “I had a really good time tonight, Claire. Would you wanna do this again? Maybe next weekend? We could take the kids to the zoo. Get pizza after. If that’s okay with you.”
I smiled.
“I’d like that,” I said.
“Great,” he said. “I’ll text you. Have a good night, Claire.”
He waited until I got in my car and drove away before he left.
I drove home with the biggest smile on my face.
When I walked in the door, Emma was waiting up for me on the couch, Sunny curled up next to her.
“Did you have fun, Mommy?” she said, yawning.
I knelt down and kissed the top of her head.
“Yeah, baby,” I said. “I had a lot of fun.”
“Is he nice?” she said.
“The nicest,” I said.
“Good,” she said, snuggling into Sunny’s fur. “You deserve to be happy, Mommy.”
I sat down next to her on the couch, pulling her into my lap.
“I am happy, baby,” I said. “I already have everything I need right here. But it’s nice to have someone to go to the zoo with, too.”
Emma nodded, already half-asleep.
“Can Jake come over sometime?” she mumbled. “I wanna show him Sunny’s tricks.”
I laughed.
“Sure, baby,” I said. “We’ll have him over soon.”
I carried her up to bed, then went back downstairs and sat on the porch.
The night was warm. The fireflies were out.
I thought about that Sunday dinner at Diane’s house, what felt like a lifetime ago.
The slap.
The secret.
The phone call from Lila.
I thought about all the tears I’d cried. All the nights I’d stayed up, wondering if I’d ever be happy again. Wondering if Emma would ever be okay.
And now?
Now I was sitting on the porch of my house, the house that was mine, after a great first date with a nice man, my daughter asleep upstairs, my dog snoring at my feet.
I’d been through hell.
But I’d come out the other side.
Stronger.
Happier.
Freer.
I didn’t regret slapping Diane that night.
Not for a second.
Because if I hadn’t?
If I’d just sat there and taken it, like I’d done a hundred times before?
I never would’ve found out the truth.
I never would’ve left Michael.
I never would’ve gotten my life back.
The worst day of my life had turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
Because it had set me free.
I took a deep breath of the warm summer air, and I smiled.
May you like
The future was wide open.
And for the first time in a long time, I couldn’t wait to see what came next.